Humor

You Know You’re a Swimmer When…

  1. you collect swim caps.
  2. you critique the way people swim on TV or movies, because their technique is terrible.
  3. every conversation somehow reverts back to swimming.
  4. you can smell a pool from a mile away.
  5. You know you’re a swimmer when you wear flip flops and sandals year round.
  6. you are guilty of wearing socks with flip flops.
  7. you decorate your fins.
  8. you have gotten into a fight with the lane line during a backstroke set.
  9. there is nothing worse than a warm pool.
  10. You know you’re a swimmer when it’s ok for you to wear Crocs, but no one else.
  11. you regularly buy your suits two sizes too small.
  12. you have the sound of “take your marks… beep!” forever engrained in your mind.
  13. a 10:00 am practice on Saturday morning means you get to SLEEP IN!
  14. you acquire the ability to detect lightning from miles away.
  15. You know you’re a swimmer when your conversations take place in 15 second intervals.
  16. you find yourself doing random shoulder stretches in class or the office.
  17. you have a permanent suit tan.
  18. you can swim longer distances than you could ever run.
  19. you have gone two weeks without a normal shower.
  20. You know you’re a swimmer when waking up before dawn to exercise seems normal.
  21. jamming a piece of Styrofoam between your legs is not a kinky sexual activity.
  22. you would win an eating contest against a football player.
  23. you know how many tiles there are from one end of the pool to the other.
  24. your skin is always dry.
  25. You know you’re a swimmer when you have few non-swimmer friends because you can never hang out with them.
  26. you get excited about Speedo’s newest catalog.
  27. bugs die of chlorine poisoning when they land on your skin.
  28. you’ve learned how to squirt water 15 different ways.
  29. the first place you go when you’re stressed out is a swimming pool.
  30. You know you’re a swimmer when being fishlike is a compliment.
  31. you have a permanent suit, goggle, and cap tan.
  32. practice of only 5000 yards sounds like heaven to you.
  33. you have trouble fitting into clothes because your shoulders are so broad.
  34. you have mastered the art of deck changing.
  35. You know you’re a swimmer when you know who everyone in you lane is from their feet cause you bump into them so often.
  36. you have rings around your eyes unrelated to the amount you sleep you got.
  37. there are wet towels over every door in your house.
  38. nearly your entire wardrobe consists of swimming shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, and sweatpants.
  39. you sweat chlorine.
  40. You know you’re a swimmer when your hair is always wet, and ladies; your hair is always in a messy bun.
  41. you can’t understand why people worry about having a “bikini body” for the summer.
  42. you barely recognize fellow swimmers when they have dry hair and normal clothes on.
  43. there is nothing better than a continental breakfast.
  44. it is not weird for girls to stop shaving their legs, and for guys to start shaving theirs.
  45. You know you’re a swimmer when you swim between 2-4 hours a day, 5-7 days a week, for 7 months for a race that lasts less than 2 minutes.